a life of self sacrifice

kisses from katie

this is a blog I have been following
for a year maybe

I read her posts to our kids

in awe of her life
her self-sacrifice
her heart

it humbles me beyond words

thought provoking
raw
real
and bleeding with love

that words cannot truly describe

she is beautiful

quick Chore thought

the hardest part in chore training
is the training of the heart
while doing to chores

anyone can take out the trash
wash the dishes
clean their room

but how many can do it
joyfully
with thanksgiving
and a selfless heart?

so when my kids are doing their work
I look at the attitude
with which they did their task

and praise that!

yes we want a job well done
within reason of their skill set

I try and focus on the positive
attitude we are aiming for
while doing the job

thankfulness, joy, patience
self-control

not the negative ones
anger, bitterness, resentment
self-centredness



I find giving them the positive
heart attitude
helps them focus on what
they are trying to achieve:)

hth

Encouraging Others

Isn't it so nice when someone encourages you?

Maybe just out of the blue
or in conversation?

I don't think we can ever over dose on
encouragement

so many are so lonely
or don't have much support in
their lives

and desperately need it

sometimes
it is our spouses that need it
the most

I was challenged long ago
to make encouragement
apart of our marriage

our daily conversations

just words or affirmation
like:
I appreciate all that you do, how hard you
work for our family

how dedicated you are to
your family
and the people you work with

etc....

it takes thoughtfulness
and eyes that are open to see
how hard our partners do work

words that build one another up
not tear eachother down

but the other part is
giving these words without ever expecting
them in return
that is not the point
or giving them in the first place

I think this is apart of loving
and serving our partner
in a self-sacrificing way

I think early on in our marriage
I wanted affirmation

I was expecting it
and when you expect it
I think we can get let down very easily

the perspective I needed to learn is one from the heart
I needed God's perspective

I say these words
I encourage my husband

because I want to
because I want to build him up

I am commanded to love my husband

not just when it feels good for me
not just when it is convenient
not just when it is easy

but everyday
dying to myself to serve

(I try to write a light hearted kind of post
and this is what it turns into)

my point I was meaning to make was this

I used to get my knickers in a knot

'what about me
what about what I need?'

I can't control my husband
I am only responsible for myself and my actions

as he is his own....


but thankfully
the Lord commands and holds
both men and women to the same standards

to love and serve one anther

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit
but in humility consider others better than yourself"

Phillipians 2:3

build one another up

you are only destroying yourself
when you don't ....

you hold
the power to tear them down
or build them up



end note!!!!!

I had to add this in here as H.H read it and was
concerned I didn't feel like he encouraged me
enough...lolololol

I re-read my post
and I guess i can see what he means

that it sounds like he doesn't encourage me
and is not true, he does encourage me daily
(even when I've had a stinky attitude)

but that is not the point I was making

more like
what happens if we don't get encouraged
when WE want it
or HOW WE want it
or the WAY WE want it

(some of this is communication
between a couple)

ok, my head is spinning too fast to explain

but at the end of the day

give encouragement!!!!
regardless of what the other does

What makes a good blog person?

Note about the pic..

she asked me to write this note to go on top
of the snow mountain in our court.....

sigh:)

...................................................................................

I enjoy reading many blogs
and yes, lots of them are written by moms

a lot of them are Christian moms too
just because we have the same out look on life

I love hearing what their days look like

it is helpful and inspiring to me

but what i have noticed is that some gals
sound so preachy
so legalistic and self righteous

it is such a fine line
the mothering business
this LIFE business really:)

sometimes I wonder is it because
they don't have enough mothering experience
that they come across as so know-it-ally?

I know 2 families with 8 kids
one very legalistic
following the law and the letter
the rules and systems

and the other
seems to live by the spirit
more in the moment
full of grace
and mercy

but generally the more kids
these families have
the more experience they have
with more personality types
more issues to be changed by
just more experience

and i think they do know that
just by sheer #'s we can't police
that many kids
(and we shouldn't want to police)
but be a guide instead

(one can police kids when there are fewer of them)
doesn't make it right though

and again
the family with a couple of kids
can also live by rules and laws
and one can live by the Holy Spirit's leading



ok, maybe i just answered my own thoughts
ha
living by the leading of the Holy Spirit
frees us up to live and love in the moment of
our experiences

to feel the gentle tugs on our souls, to help us discern
in the minutes of our days
what to do
what to say
where to go

there isn't a list of rules to follow
that we are bound to
(praise God for that)

but to live with the law written upon our hearts and minds

I realize this is vague

but i was trying to figure out what rubbed me the wrong way
when reading some of these womens blogs

I surely hope I don't come across like a know at all
preachy pickle

I can only share what I do and why
but my knowledge comes the Bible and other wise women and men

I guess I just want to share the helpful
bits I have found in my parenting experience

my focus is
my heart and the kids heart in all of it

in our days in this life

each kids is different
each situation is different and has different dynamics
and needs

God has given us a brain to think
not follow the rules in the magazine
so
study your kids
study yourself
some parts of ourselves we can change (like how we respond
what we believe, how we see the world)

and some we can't
(shy or outgoing perhaps)

I try not to box myself in
or my kids in

in a box that I think they should be in

I asked Hot Husband if he could remember this quote
from C.S. Lewis (nope, he can't:(

let me paraphrase

"God is not working in your life yesterday
He is not working in your life tomorrow
but He is working in your life today, and it is in these moments
right now, that He can change you.

(something like that...sorry C.S.)


"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other,
just as Christ forgave you."

Ephesians 4:32

Been Gone and then some

Been gone for a while as I haven't been able to get on line
on my computer

been wanting to write so many things
like

chore ideas that help my life

my transformational story of forgiveness( I will have to tell that one)

parenting tips that have helped me

books that I've read recently

but parenting is where my brain currently resides in
at this time

I really can't escape it
(not that I am trying)

I am just saying
sometimes I wonder if I need to be thinking of something else?

I think like any job, if you want to get better at it
you study you job/craft
to train with someone who has been there
who is wise

you know
I read this entry tonight and i wanted to share
because it is so encouraging to moms and dads!

please take the time to read it

http://www.itakejoy.com/first-time-obedience-really/

Why am I crying?

I forgot that I started writing
wow, that's a surprise some who know me well
may say....
I have been sick this ps week
all the kids have been sick at various stages
and HH is out of town for a few weeks
oh...and ofcourse the dishwasher breaks down
and a few fuses blew

I haven't fixed either yet
again..big surprise

but surprisingly I have only cried once
that was 2 days ago
I think it was because a few of the kids are really
working on some new skills

which is-
driving eachother totally insane
there has been a lot of tears
soap in the mouth, tobasco in the mouth

and being confined to the smallest possible space
with the enemy to work it out

sometimes that is just what I have to do
they know what is expected of them
they know the words they have to say
to apologise

pride is the biggest factor ...like always
as to why they can't seem to get apologies out

but a good 15 minutes in a closet or bathroom
with their rival
gives them a lovely chance to work it out themselves
and feel good about their problem solving skills

and I usually am snickering off in a corner
being so thankful that I am not refereeing another match

think about 5 other brains in the house (kids brains that is)
all trying to be more self-centred than the other?

I say.....enjoy eachothers misery!


and back to the crying..........

(this is when I wish was descriptive writer, able to paint a picture of
what I experienced next because my explanation
will not adequately represent my thoughts and feelings)

it was like flood gates had burst open
with overwhelming light rushing and swirling
all around me
I was being swept up into truth
and love and light and healing

I am covered with goosebumps, soaking my cheeks
with tears,
tears of joy and happiness,
trembling like a leaf
but one that is being moved by gentle, loving breezes

I was awestruck and dumbfounded

what is all this? what on earth does it mean?

at the time, in that moment I didn't know
what it all meant

but in that moment I knew one thing
what my friend was sharing
about God about Jesus

was truth

I knew this was the answer to my life
and I didn't even I needed an answer to my life!

his words spoke in to the depths of my soul
like nothing else ever had
and my heart was made complete

in the quiet darkness of my childhood bedroom
lost in a life that left me searching for more
craving more
hoping for more

and here was the answer

Jesus

in that instant my heart changed
my mind changed
my life changed
and I was new

to quote John Newton's song

"Amazing Grace! How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me!
I once was lost, but now am found
Was blind, but now I see."
..............................................................................................

I was lost (though I am not sure I thought that)
until I was found

I was blind because after that moment
I saw the world with new eyes
eyes that were seeing life
the beauty
the purpose in it all
the love that surrounds

I am seeing through the eyes
of Jesus

I am sure that just sounds crazy

but in that moment
when the Holy Spirit spoke through my friend
I was awakened

my spirit was awakened with the truth of
the Gospel (meaning good news)
and who Jesus is

I had a choice.....
like we all do

to believe it or not
to walk with this truth in Christ
or not
and to turn away

we always have a choice
that is why God gave us free will

a will that can choose

like a father who so desperately loves his child
he does not want to force his child to love him in return
what kind of love is that anyway?
(probably not love)
he desires for his child to love him because his child chooses to
because he wants to

and that is like God the father

who gives us, his children
the choice to love him
desire to be with him because
we want to
we need to

it completes our soul


the yearnings to be fully completed
in knowing the all powerfull
unchanging
never failing
always and forever love of Jesus
just the way I am
just where I am at

in that moment
my heart is healed

The Day My Life Changed Forever....

I have often wondered whether I need to write this down

in case one day I forget the details of that day
when I am old and gray and my great grandchildren ask me to tell
the about that day

that day
when I met Him

I should write it down in case I forget
but how can one forget that day?

it is like it happened yesterday

yes, maybe I can't recall exact words and sentences
but I remember where I was

I remember what time of day it was
where I was sitting

on the floor of my darkened room
cross-legged
chatting on the telephone to an old friend


I was just listening to them talk about their life
and the years that had gone by since we last spoke.....


maybe I need to back up a few weeks
to a girlfriends house

to where I first had contact with this old friend of mine

it had been about 5 years since we had last spoken and the first chat
we had was brief but pressing

He told me had had to talk with me
but he couldn't right then that day
he had much to tell me
but it would have to wait until he returned
from a trip

I was like....'okay, this is weird
what could be that important
that after not speaking to me for 5 years
you just had to talk to me now?'

I was hooked though
I was very curious as to what could be
so exciting, so urgent
yet not as urgent to share with me right then......


a few weeks passed, I don't remember
any part of that time,
any details of my life
but now I am up in my room
and he and I are chatting again

he starts telling me
about his life
where he was in it and what was going on
why it wasn't making sense
anymore

I really don't recall much of the specifics of what he said to me
right then
expect the point of it all

the only thing that he was telling me-

he shared with me the moment he met
Christ

where he was
what happened in those moments
what he thought and felt
and overwhelming sensations of it all

sound weird?
to some perhaps it doesn't make sense at all
I totally understand that....... totally

it does sound weird

but in that moment I found myself bawling
I was a wreck
I am weeping and I am not even sure why?

why am I crying?

why am I crying?...................